Sorry I haven't been blogging as much as I used to. Part of this is due to the fact that I am now working my butt off at the store, the other part has to do with the fact that I am merely too lazy to sit down and write a blog without the TV on. My bad readers.
Let me fill you in on a decision that I have made today.
SO lately the one thing that has been getting me in trouble more than anything else is my mouth. I didn't even think about it until about 20 minutes ago when I was talking to my friend Erin. I told her about 2 weeks ago that I never needed to worry about filtering things, people knew it was me and that it was just part of who I was, blunt, egotistical, and the group laugh.
But lately, there have been a couple of complaints at work from customers saying that I'm a "smart ass" and that I need to be "disciplined for how I talk." WHAT?!?!? I mean come on! It's me, I'm Justin, I'm lovable, everyone loves to talk to me.
I've been noticing though that less and less people are texting me as much as they were before. Less people are wanting to hang out, shoot the breeze and such. Is this because I'm a rebel without a cause, don't care whose in the room, I'll say what's on my mind then and there?
But like I told Erin, now 23 minutes ago when I told her that I needed to start thinking before I spoke, trying to filter my conversations, her response being what I told her 2 weeks ago "But you wouldn't be you, right?"
The worst part is that I knew what my response would have to be, because there was only way to answer that question. I needed to mature, I needed to grow up.
I'm no longer in College, or High School where it's cool and hip to be the loud mouth and the class clown. I'm now an Adult. Where it's good to have thoughts, but only voice the good ones.
Unfortunately, this isn't an easy battle for me. I've always just said whats on my mind, no matter what the situation is. But there isn't any choice here. My mouth has gotten me in trouble for the last time! It's time to think before I speak.
I have high ambitions, like politician high. There is no possible way that I can become one when all that comes out of my mouth is the first thing in my mind. I'll be laughed out of the first auditorium I go to, if I get that far.
But onto the good news. So I passed my physical test for entrance into the Police Academy. WOO!
Now onto the tough part. A packet. In it...the requirement to complete a polygraph, driving history, drug test, finger printing and 5 ride-a longs, all within 2 weeks. (this is where a group gasp would go)
So the next two weeks are going to be the most stressful, the most trying and the most rigorous I've had in a lil while. If I survive, the reward is great. If I fail, the punishment is staying where I am. And as much as I like my job, I want to be able to support a family someday, I want to live on my own again, and do something worth while in the world. I want to help people.
Also, I've been trying to get closer with God. Easter really shed some light on me that maybe I haven't gotten as close with God as I want to be. I have turned my back on God once again. This seems to be a common occurrence: ask God to help me out of the troubles that I'm in, realize that I'm starting to succeed again and that I might be able to finish the last part on my own, turn my back on God and say that I did it all on my own, then land myself back in the trouble of where I started.
So I've been trying to read the bible more, pray more, even try to make it to bible study more. Anything to repair the feeling that I had when I first moved back to Jax. That was a wonderful feeling and I truly do miss it.
Anyways, I'll stop rambling. I hope everyone has a great week coming up, I'll try to post more often...if possible.
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