There are so many times that I psych myself out and then realize that I had no reason at all to fret about it. For instance, I was in Tallahassee on Saturday for my PAT test, I woke up at 0400 to get ready for what seemed like the ultimate test of endurance and mental toughness.I got there, watched as several people were disqualified for various reasons, remembering the lines at MEPs when I joined the Navy, the big red disqual on your record. But then we got outside, to the course, and I did fine. I did better than fine. I nailed it, if I may say so myself.
I had spent so much time worrying about it that I had literally caused myself stomach pains. But there was no reason to worry at all, because I had been training for this exact moment.
I came home and my dad said something to me that just numbed me. He said "you made your grandfathers proud."
For those of you that read my blog about my Grandpa Spangenberg you know all about him. But let me tell you quickly about my Grandpa Brown. He was a man that never smoked, never drank, never cussed, never raised his voice. He was a guard at the Tomb of the Unknown soldier back before the Korean war. He was a man that had the most calming voice and touch that I've ever known. Stories say that when I was a baby, I would be crying my eyes out and he would pick me up and I would instantly stop. He was a Mason.
Unfortunately, I didn't get to know him very well as he passed away in 1993 after a long battle with Leukemia. But, he never stopped affecting my life. There have been many times when someone in the family will say, "man, Justin looks like a blonde headed dad, or a blonde headed Bobby."
Lately, I've been trying to better myself as a human, a christian and a friend. I've been studying the bible and seeing things that I have never seen before. I've been training my body to go farther and do things that I have never been able to do before. I've been training my soul, to help me withstand temptation from the Satan and help me be able to stand tall in the name of God and Jesus.
But I do all this to honor the name that I have been given. I am not only Justin. But I am also a Brown. I know that's one of the most common last names in the world, but it's my last name.
To quote Deirkes Bently, "I may not make it famous, but I'll never bring it shame."
I am a Brown. For that I am honored. There is a long tradition of honor in my family. We stand tall, we walk straight and we never forget who God is.
Whether or not I become a Law Enforcement Officer or a Merchandiser for a Soda Company, I will do it to the best of my ability because I will be wearing the last name Brown on my I.D tag.
Never forget where we all came from. It's the best present we can give those that came before us.
Tradition is a guide and not a jailer.
W. Somerset Maugham
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